How My Fear of Failure Affects My Willingness to Start Something New
- Aug 8, 2016
- 3 min read
I was just speaking with an old friend and former coworker. He and I were chatting about how I had lost my job a few months ago and the circumstances of my current job search. He eventually asked, "have you ever considered doing something for yourself?" My response was one I have given quite often - "Yes, eventually, but..." And I then proceeded with mentioning a few potential ideas for businesses I had come up with recently, not to mention the many ideas that have since been archived to make room for fresher ones. He said, "I feel like I am talking to a serial entrepreneur..." The thing is, I constantly think of businesses, or ways to do things more efficiently, etc. My biggest roadblock for pursuing these endeavors, however, is me.
I know this, and yet the answer "yes, eventually, but..." has almost always become my go-to response when someone asks if I want to start my own business. I strongly believe I exhibit entrepreneurial tendencies, based on how I see myself and also based on the many articles I've read, classes I have taken in college, and more. I am not yet comfortable with calling myself an entrepreneur though. I see this as an earned title, not one to be given by oneself or placed in the headline on LinkedIn. The very nature of the word essentially means one who creates jobs or manages an enterprise while absorbing considerable risk. Until I know I have created a successful environment where people are earning money, creating or executing on a business plan, etc. I don't think of myself as an entrepreneur. But this doesn't mean I am not entrepreneurial or have the aspiration or capacity to become one some day.
Considering my desire to create and be a part of something big and important, you would think that I would just take the plunge into starting my own business. I have a solid marketing and sales background, understand the main reasons for creating a business or product, the importance of differentiation, and more. However, I feel like I am stuck in this dream. Not a dream of success or of building an empire. Not one of building something from scratch with my name on it. No, I am stuck within a dream I experienced several times during my childhood. It was a simple dream which began on a playground or in a field, and someone was placed in front of me whom I did not like and wanted to punch (I hope they deserved it). Now, in my real world experience, I've never really been in a fight and certainly never one involving jabs and left hooks. I have always been able to achieve peaceful resolutions to strife. But in this dream, I see myself in a fit of anger attempt to strike this faceless entity. No matter how hard I try or how perfectly I connect, the person is unmoved, un-phased or unhurt. The frustration I feel in this dream is somewhat similar to how I feel at moments where I want to take a career leap of faith. It's not that I don't think I can punch (or execute) an idea. It's that I think that I fear doing a good job and still coming up short or being unable to move the needle on what I want to accomplish. Imagine the effort being wasted in fighting and fighting yet gaining no ground. That's what I am afraid of when it comes to starting a business.
On many occasions, I have been met with adversity in my life - sometimes pretty serious. I have always found a way out of it without doing damage to my ethics, morals, life attitude, etc. Sometimes I even flourish as a result. But I assume that one of the main reasons I have not yet pursued "going it alone" is because it's uncharted territory, and I don't have anyone to blame but myself should I fail. Realistically, it should not be any different whether I am working for someone or working for me. After all, we are all on our own in this world when it comes right down to it. I might not know how to address this roadblock at the moment, but I do know that I have the ability deep down to eventually figure it out. However, I intend to visit the sports equipment store and invest in a punching bag until I do. Any thoughts or advice for getting over the fear of failing entrepreneurially? Comment below. -EB
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